In an unprecedented move, Georgetown Law will become the first American law school to pass the one million student mark for the 2013-2014 school year. At a time when most law schools in America are making cuts to their classes, Georgetown’s highest administrators announced today that they are taking the opposite direction.
“We feel that America needs more Georgetown lawyers,” said Dean William Treanor, when asked for comment. “We are aware of that current employment prospects are rather dim, but we don’t see that lasting for very long,” Treanor continued. Georgetown has been criticized in the past for its extremely large class sizes in light of the current economy.
The decision to expand the class size by roughly 200,000 percent came as a surprise to many. “I don’t agree with class sizes any larger than 900,000,” opined Dean of Admissions Andrew Cornblatt. “This seems excessive to me, as I have always felt that a more reasonable class size of 500,000 students would keep Georgetown competitive. I disagree fundamentally with Bill on this.”
When asked for their opinions, several students had such comments as “I don’t know who you are,” and “Get away from me, 1L.” Clearly, public opinion is against such a dramatic move.
However, the move has been lauded by some professors. Naomi Mezey, recently awarded Teacher of the Year, had the following to say: “I’ve always felt that throwing more and more lawyers at the market would eventually solve most, if not all, of our problems.”
Presented with the question of how he squared the new class size with the statistic that only 233,631 students applied to law school in 2012, Dean Treanor said that he was “a big picture guy, not a mathematician. It’s my experience that the numbers will work themselves out down the line. Look, it’s pretty simple. One million law students will pay a lot more than 500. It’s a bottom line question. Also, I’m not an economist, so quit asking me this stuff.”
Dean Treanor also confessed that there were personal motivations at play. “Honestly, I’m sick and tired of (Harvard Law Dean Martha) Minow rubbing it in my face all the time that they have more students than us. Maybe this will shut her up.”
The move will stretch University resources to the breaking point, but Treanor and even the recalcitrant Cornblatt believe that the Law Center will continue to thrive. “Maybe now hold down our lead over Cornell for the 13 spot in those rankings,” Cornblatt mused.
At press time, Harvard Law School had just released a statement that their class for 2013 will be 1,000,001.
In an unprecedented move, Georgetown Law will become the first American law school to pass the one million student mark for the 2013-2014 school year. At a time when most law schools in America are making cuts to their classes, Georgetown’s highest administrators announced today that they are taking the opposite direction.“We feel that America needs more Georgetown lawyers,” said Dean William Treanor, when asked for comment. “We are aware of that current employment prospects are rather dim, but we don’t see that lasting for very long,” Treanor continued. Georgetown has been criticized in the past for its extremely large class sizes in light of the current economy.The decision to expand the class size by roughly 200,000 percent came as a surprise to many. “I don’t agree with class sizes any larger than 900,000,” opined Dean of Admissions Andrew Cornblatt. “This seems excessive to me, as I have always felt that a more reasonable class size of 500,000 students would keep Georgetown competitive. I disagree fundamentally with Bill on this.”When asked for their opinions, several students had such comments as “I don’t know who you are,” and “Get away from me, 1L.” Clearly, public opinion is against such a dramatic move.However, the move has been lauded by some professors. Naomi Mezey, recently awarded Teacher of the Year, had the following to say: “I’ve always felt that throwing more and more lawyers at the market would eventually solve most, if not all, of our problems.” Presented with the question of how he squared the new class size with the statistic that only 233,631 students applied to law school in 2012, Dean Treanor said that he was “a big picture guy, not a mathematician. It’s my experience that the numbers will work themselves out down the line. Look, it’s pretty simple. One million law students will pay a lot more than 500. It’s a bottom line question. Also, I’m not an economist, so quit asking me this stuff.”Dean Treanor also confessed that there were personal motivations at play. “Honestly, I’m sick and tired of (Harvard Law Dean Martha) Minow rubbing it in my face all the time that they have more students than us. Maybe this will shut her up.”The move will stretch University resources to the breaking point, but Treanor and even the recalcitrant Cornblatt believe that the Law Center will continue to thrive. “Maybe now hold down our lead over Cornell for the 13 spot in those rankings,” Cornblatt mused.At press time, Harvard Law School had just released a statement that their class for 2013 will be 1,000,001.
