“What a surprising, but fulfilling win,” exclaimed a current Section 3 1L upon hearing that, for the seventh year in a row, Section 3 had won the prestigious annual “Best Section” award, as presented by Section 3. The award was created seven years ago.
Section 3, a perennial underdog for the perennial award, campaigned heavily in the weeks immediately preceding the awards ceremony, held March 3, 2013, in the basement of Professor Gary Peller’s house.
The ceremony itself, a hallowed event in the annals of law school awards history, lasted an indeterminate amount of time, and featured a diverse (too diverse? not diverse enough? what is diversity?) selection of performers, presenters, and guests.
Section 3 2L Jeff Liu reviewed the food, which was “exquisite,” though there could have been more emphasis on local, organic, vegan, fair trade sources. “Or more burgers. They ran out of burgers so fast,” commented Liu.
Performers included famous Georgetown Law genderqueer marine animal rights yo-yo troupe Stinger Swingers and Professor Naomi Mezey on keytar.
Section 3 also took home the award for “Best 1L Section” and “Best 2L section.” “Best 3L Section” resulted in a tie, for Section 3 and Section Three.
“Competition was tough,” said Section 3 1L Taylor Matthews, who emceed this year’s awards show. “I tried to be objective, but I have to say, I was rooting for Section 3 all along.”
At press time, students from other sections could reportedly be found not giving a shit about Section 3. “Section 3 is the worst. Seriously. The worst,” one disgruntled students commented.